Here’s the scoop

Hi.

This is a recent picture of my wife and me.  That guy who’s photo bombing us? I’ll get to him in a sec.

My wife and I have known each other for about 13 years and have been married for 7 of them.  We work our 50-hour-a-week day jobs, play in a band and co-parent a little dog. His name is Moose.

I’d love to say that those 7 years have been complete unadulterated bliss, but the reality is they haven’t always. Unfortunately, there is a 3rd wheel in our happy union. Enter the squiggly dude creeping over my shoulder. Occasionally, and for the most trivial of reasons, I would fly off the handle in ways that leapt far outside acceptable expressions of anger or frustration. I’ve had the cops called on me, punched holes in walls, put goose eggs on my forehead by slamming it against door frames and scared the living s#!t out of my wife.

Finally, she gave me the ultimatum of either figuring out my glitch or losing our marriage, so I went to a psychiatrist to get evaluated.  

Turns out, I’ve got a mood disorder called Intermittent Explosive Disorder (or IED). Since my diagnosis, I have been mixing a strong cocktail of talk therapy, medication, writing, exercise, group therapy and other methods of self-care in order to keep that terrible 3rd wheel at bay. The doodles included on this site have become a helpful part of my daily therapy. They are the best way I’ve found to express my wide range of experiences dealing with this tricky bastard.

While I can’t go back in time and erase the behavior that caused pain to those I love, I can use my experience to perhaps open a conversation and maybe put up a flare for others with similar problems that screams, “You are not alone.”

Enjoy,

-Justin

#thatmentalillnesslife